Canada geese on Skaha Lake. Maybe a mating pair, maybe not. Hard to tell with geese unless you spend the time to figure out who is who in the flock.

It's nice just to hang out with friends sometimes. Even if there is no scheduled discussion, nothing special going on, it's good to just BE together. There are so many different kinds of friends too. Some are friends because you like the same things, think the same way, are involved in the same stuff. Others can be extremely different in their likes and philosophies, but through some connection you get along extremely well anyway, and feel a special attachment to each other.

One thing I have noticed is that often, friends you had in your formative teenage years, are friends you still have. You may not see them more than once every couple of years, or more sometimes - but when you do, it is like you just pick up the conversation and carry on. All of the concerns about life changing you, and whether you will have anything in common anymore, just disappear out the window. And I think perhaps that is because the stages a friendship goes through until you feel confident that the other person will like you no matter what you do, have already been tried and tested and found to be true. You know you are not being judged. You know you are accepted however you are ........ the pressure of meeting expectations is not there. You have already tested them out and know that they have your best interest in mind when they speak.

You can laugh about silly things, you can talk about serious stuff, you can sit in silence. It's all good. It connects you to the world of other people out there and reminds you that you are a part of something much bigger than your own immediate environment. One could debate the reasons for the connections forever, or how they come about, and still never really get a finger on how or why it all works. Do we influence each other as we relate - are friends mirrors for how we see ourselves, do we have basic values in common?  Psychologists have been debating it for decades, and still do not have a conclusive answer. So just enjoy! Meet up every now and then with friends you don't often see, and enjoy the camaraderie. It will leave you with a good feeling - and that good feeling is well worth the time and effort put into getting in touch.

I went to a reunion this past summer - a group of three consecutive graduating classes. I wasn't too enthused about going, had to be convinced - but by the time the weekend event was over, none of us wanted to leave. Now, I know that not everyone has a great experience at school, and not everyone graduates - but there is always a group of people somewhere in our past that we have connections with. Keep those connections open. It fills a need within. Humans, after all, are "clan" animals. We need to 'group' once in a while - to gather the flock together. We laugh, we cry, we celebrate and commiserate. We can sing and dance - or just sit and think.   Sometimes we just do need company.

Gathering of the flock on Okanagan Lake.

Quick watercolour sketch of the heron waiting to scoop up lunch.

Here is the heron again. Patiently waiting and watching, mid-step. Not wanting to scare off the possible meal, but needing to get just a bit closer to point of attack, he moves so slowly that you hardly see the movement - just notice that he is in an ever-so-slightly different position. His patience is much to be admired.

When I find things, or get ideas, I am anxious to have the goal in my mind be fulfilled as quickly as possible. It is difficult to engage in the state of patiently waiting. But sometimes I have to. The universe does not always work instantaneously. There are times when other people's time lines have to be taken into consideration. There are times when we need to educate ourselves about a part of the process that is new and different. There are times when, no matter how much we would like to force events to move in a  forward direction, we cannot. Parts of it are out of our control, and we must just wait, quietly persevering in our efforts until the outside influences fall together into a positive pattern that will enable our advance. In these periods, I find it takes effort to remain positive and focused on the fact that the goal will come to fruition. To keep believing that my dream is waiting for me out there somewhere in the hazy future. But I must keep that thought focused in my mind, just as the heron keeps the victim in clear focus as he moves toward his ultimate goal. He dare not shift his attention or a moment of opportunity may be missed and he must begin again.

For the heron it is a matter of survival - for me it is a matter of choices. For the heron it is a matter of finding enough to eat or starving to death. For me it is a matter of working on this project or one of many others I could begin. Perhaps that is why I find it takes such effort to maintain the focus. It is not a matter of life or death. At least I don't see it that way at the moment. I view it as one choice of several directions to go, and if this one doesn't work out, there are many other interesting paths to investigate. The heron doesn't have those alternatives if he wants to survive. Or, perhaps he does, but knows that the process he uses now, is more likely to be most fruitful over the long haul - that chasing other alternatives won't be any more successful. So he waits - patiently - until the moment arrives.

Acrylic, Pen and Ink

I have a very visually creative mind - so when I read an article headline, or hear someone speaking about a building explosion, this is the kind of thing that pops in to my mind. So, you never really know what the other person is thinking when you speak! Often times when they are referring to the increased number of building starts in a particular city, or part thereof, my mind visualizes things like this. It's not my fault. I have little control over it. It just happens that way. It has as long as I can remember, and I think perhaps it is why I don't always respond to another's remarks right away. My mind is busy working through the visuals it has conjured up, and I have to get further clarification before I proceed verbally. People often think I am just a quiet person .... and maybe some even think I am 'slow' - who knows. But if they could understand the mental activity that is taking place while they are awaiting a response, they would realize my mind is not slow. I could easily have ten connotations of their comment whirling through my brain as I sift through and try not to laugh aloud about any of them, before I come up with their 'logical' inference and make my reply.

This can be rather troublesome at times. I have dealt with it throughout my life. It comes in superbly handy when working with my art, but it ends up being a rather cumbersome ability when having a conversation within a group of people. When everyone talks at the same time, my mind can become totally overwhelmed with visuals that distract me. I am curious about things, and my mind wants to follow the ideas it has. It exhausts me at times, and the only way I have found of dealing with it is to withdraw from the conversation and settle my mind down to a level I can converse with. I much prefer conversations with one or two people, and that is why. It is not that I am shy - I can get up in front of a group of people and do what is called of me. As long as I have the ability to control how many people I have to pay attention to at the same time, I am fine. I have learned to focus on a small number, and leave the visuals to be considered at a later time. So if you know people who are very slow in responding to your comments or questions, it may not be because they cannot think of an answer. It may be because they are debating within their mind which one of the myriad of answers they have available, you are actually looking for. Don't place judgement too quickly.

On the other side of the coin, it keeps me fully packed with ideas of what to paint or draw - how to connect seemingly disparate things together in some way. It often helps me find common ground in situations where there are opposing sides that can't come together in agreement. It allows me to sit through horrendously boring situations - I just let my mind wander!  And it allows me to find alternative points of view and approaches for most anything that comes along. So I consider myself blessed by this ability I have. If it just means that I function better in small groups than crowds, I can live with that.

I think that is an important part of being at peace with who we are. Understanding how things affect us, finding the way to live with it, and holding true to that. If you are not comfortably functioning, following someone else's method of dealing with things - stop trying. Find the way that you are comfortable and accomplish the task that way. Find those challenges you face daily and turn them in to blessings by using the abilities to their fullest capacity. If they focus on the fact that you are just a little bit different than others around you - that is the point! Each of us has something that makes us different than the next person. That is the gift. Find it and use it in a way that it was meant to be used rather than hiding it.

"Thinking in Pictures"

Frosty little scene of the Similkameen River with winter ice. Clear blue sky, sparkling snow, and deep blue water.

A placid scene of the river, partially covered in ice. Looks rather frosty and not terribly enticing to me, although beautiful, but I notice that there are snowmobile tracks along the edge of the ice. Someone is much more daring than me and was obviously enjoying the challenge that it presented!  

The brilliant blue sky without a speck of cloud, and the sparkling sunshine I saw when looking out my window, drew me outside with my camera to get some air, exercise, and hopefully photos. But as clear as that blue sky is, and as bright as the sun shines, reflecting off the ice crystals of the snow - it is COLD. Frosty. Nose-nipping cold.  Not quite frost-bite cold, but cold enough. Cold enough to make me wish perhaps I hadn't come out. To wish I was still inside where it may be stuffy and confined, but at least it is warm!  But now that I am out here in it, I admonish myself for being such a wimp and decide to make the best of it. Get that exercise, get that sunshine, take those pictures! Proceed with the plans and stop wishing it was different than it is, as it is 'only a bit of weather'.

That was my Grandmother's favourite phrase if anyone complained about it - "It's only a bit of weather" meaning, it's what we have, there is nothing we can do to change it, so stop complaining! So, well trained as I am, I trudge on, boots squeaking the icy crystals together as I step, snap a few more photos and talk to the gathering of ravens in the trees.  I like ravens. Ravens are fun - but that's a whole other story - for another day perhaps.

Today I am thinking about people, and how sometimes at first distant glance they seem to be bright and cheerful, but upon close association, turn out to be rather icy around the edges. They carry around a layer of protection from cold atmospheres, and the pressing of an invisible trigger can put up the protective barrier in the blink of an eye. It is self-preservation and may be so ingrained as to not even be consciously acknowledged by them. But underneath, still flows the river of the soul. It is the river that flows within all of us - the common ground, so to speak, that we can reach out to.

But how do we do that? We could wait for the atmosphere to warm and melt the ice; break through it with something that the ice cannot hold up against; blast through it with something shockingly explosive. There are many methods to try. But do we bother? Is what is hidden beneath of value enough to expend the time and effort? Is the river of our own soul of enough value for someone else to put in the effort to get to?

Water is water. Some has been polluted by our wastes and some is clean and clear, But the polluted waters are created by our own doing. The water itself, with the polluting components removed is just water as it should be. The soul, with its polluted components removed is still the soul. Somewhere, down there under the icy protective layers, is a clean clear soul.

Raven, watching ....... and talking. Would like to know what he has to say.

View from King Solomon's Dome, Yukon Territory.

Sometimes the future destination is merely a hazy point in the distance. I know it is out there, I just can't see it clearly yet. Is it directly in front of me? A little off to the left or right? Without holding a compass in my hand I am not certain of which direction I should point myself to take the next step. I am sure it is not behind me, as I have come from there and not found what I was looking for. I have a treasure map that shows me it exists - other people have been there and talked about it - but in my mind at that moment it is not a reality. I am holding only other people's images of what it is like. I need to have my own images for it to be real.

So what to do? Which way do I go? How do I take the next step when I don't really know if it is the right way or not? And that sets me to thinking how birds and butterflies that migrate, know where they are going. Yes, they apparently have an inner compass that sets them off in the right direction - but how do they know to go? Yes, they are far more sensitive to changes in weather than humans. At least it is more of a question of survival for them to BE sensitive to these changes. Perhaps we have the ability as well, but just don't make use of it because we can retreat into our warm enclosures and wait out the winter. But in many cases the birds don't HAVE to go as far as they do - the weather would be survivable if they stopped sooner, but they don't. They have their destination pre-set. That is the place they are going, whether they have seen it before or not.

I saw a white egret one year late in to the winter, and this was not a normal site where I was living. I presumed it had been thrown off course by a storm - but wondered why it was still around when the temperature plummeted. It was hanging out at the pond with a heron that frequented. Somehow, it had found a friend who was willing to share the abundance of food. Perhaps they shared the nightly sheltering spot as well, I don't know. But I wonder how other creatures find their way, and what do they do when they are thrown off-course.

Humans can discuss the subject with friends, read books, listen to other people's methods of finding their way. But animals and birds have to rely on their instincts - their inner signals. So perhaps that is what I must do too. Rely on my inner signals. Believe that if I keep taking the steps in what I feel to be the direction of my destination, and listen carefully as I go, my inner signals shall lead me there. And I know as I take each step closer, the vision shall ultimately appear in a clearly chrystalized form in front of me. Then the images shall be my own.

From my Mother's beautiful rose garden. From bud to blossom to spent bloom awaiting the growth of the rose hip.... it all holds it's own special beauty of purpose.

Recently read a post on Carolyn Townes' blog for 'Becoming a Woman of Purpose' that was food for thought.  Her challenge to readers was "Yes, life is difficult, .... now what?", and she commented about why people get 'stuck' within the difficulty of making changes to enhance their life and further their growth. What she has to say is very true. We do have to get over the idea that life is difficult. If we approach it with that mind set, it will of course, be difficult. And I don't think that it has to be that way. I used to think that the only way one got anywhere in life was with 'hard' work. So I spent most of my time doing 'hard' work. Now, rather than approach it with that attitude, I look at life as a series of challenges and changes. Each challenge comes along to tell me it is time to make changes for the sake of growth. Whether I accept those challenges and put my mind to ways of solving them, or hide from them and refuse to meet the challenge is a choice I make. It is time to change, and I will keep being challenged until I make an effort to surmount the hurdle and take the next step.

Life is change. Nature is in a constant state of flux from one state to another. We humans are just another part of the natural processes on this planet. Much as we might like to, WE cannot stay the same forever. We are born, we live, and we return from whence we came. In between we grow and change just as the rest of nature does, according to the rhythms of the planet. We can choose to ignore that and fight our way against the tide, or we can flow with it and accept the peace that comes from being in sync with the natural world we live in.

Life still has its struggles, that's a given, but changing the point of view has allowed me to let go of any "oh, woe is me!" feelings. I am grateful for the challenges I have had and chosen to step over, as it has brought me to a place I am very comfortable being. The layers of life are unfolding to reveal what is at the essence, and at some point will begin to wither and fade away. That too, is a given. I may as well accept it and enjoy the journey for what it has to offer, because there is much beauty in it, if we just take a moment to open those fearful eyes and look.

Once again I am 'touching the earth'. It is mid January, and I am longing for fresh spring breezes and long walks in the balmy air. My mind has been closed up inside too long with itself. I have a desire to be outside with the rest of nature.

Depending on where we live on this planet, winter can often hang around much longer than we ourselves would like. Sometimes it seems to hang on forever - like it is never going to warm up again. But I have to remind myself that there are rhythms and I am part of them. If I can but hang on and settle down and take advantage of this time for rest, replenishing and expansion - then I will be better for it in the long run. So I keep my reminders handy so I don't lose touch with what I am - just another being on this planet.

NowTHIS is stuck!

Two loaders, stuck in the muck in the Yukon. It's not an uncommon occurrence, though it is one you try to avoid if at all possible. It means you lose time working, and in the short summer, you don't want down-time. It doesn't take much to get into a situation like this though - just one wrong turn.  That is why everyone knows everyone else in the area, even if your closest neighbour is 10 or 20 miles away, you know who they are, they know you. You know the equipment they have, and whether you might be able to call on them for help when you get yourself into a predicament. It's a matter of survival and it's an open door both ways. You help them, they help you. If you don't operate that way, you pay the price.

I spend a fair amount of time on my own. Not that far out in the wilderness of course, but it is still good to know that I have a few people who care enough to come to my aid if I need them. It's not hard for a person to get into a situation where some extra assistance would be appreciated. It doesn't have to be physical help, it could be advice on a project; a different view or fresh outlook on a situation; or a cheerful word or two when you are dragging yourself through the day. Even just someone to vent to. Someone who will quietly listen to your complaints, ask a pertinent question or two, and basically let it go in one ear and out the other. We don't really need them to solve our problems for us, we just need to acknowledge our own feelings, give them some credibility, but also to get an outside viewpoint. A point of view that is not wrapped up in the middle of the situation and can see it from a broader, less emotionally entangled perspective.

Have you ever noticed how birds will call the flock in when danger is near? The coots gather closely together when the eagle soars above. Starlings group and dive-bomb the crow stealing their eggs. Sometimes a whole chorus of panicked cries from songbirds can be heard, and you know a cat is creeping near and stalking. The majority of time, they look after their own business, but when help is needed, when the job is too big for one, the cry for assistance can be heard. But some also call in the flock when they have found abundance. Ducks and geese seem to sound such a call, and where there was just one in a yard full of feed, suddenly the whole flock is there. In the wild of course, these actions are a result of physical survival needs. In human life, it is often more a matter of psychological survival.

Some people cry for assistance when it's only that they can't be bothered to take care of business themselves, and others drag themselves through hell and back without asking. I have often wondered what makes the difference - where the line is drawn in the mind that makes some people use the time and energy of others on a constant basis for their own benefit, some don't even consider it, and others manage to find a balance in the middle. They are willing to ask for and accept assistance when it is needed, and manage on their own the rest of the time. There is a fine line somewhere in between that seems to tip the balance one way or the other. Do you notice how we seem to keep a running balance book on how many requests for help we get from people? Suddenly there will be a point when it is time to say "Okay, what is the real problem here? Why can't you take care of this yourself?" But it is not an easy point to pass through. Often the offender will merely be cut from the 'friend' list with excuses that there are previous commitments - or the phone call just doesn't get answered. Then, that leaves us with a guilty conscience because our deepest wish is to help others. So we come to more fine lines - when and how to let go of the overly needy; how to not be overly needy ourselves; and when it is legitimate to ask for help.

I think the situation pictured above is an obvious opportunity to call for help. Whether you have to pay for that assistance in a monetary way, or can call friends, depends on the situation and the circle of friends you have acquired. Regardless, a group is needed to call from. One person cannot do it all any more than one seed can produce food for the world. Those friends and acquaintances need to be nurtured and the door needs to be open both ways.

Just a small pre-gathering of the flock that fed in the yard. Twice a day they would  come.

Cosy little cabin in the Yukon. One of the original cabins from the Gold Rush in 1898, and still used on occasion.

This post is more about human nature than anything outside my window. When I was searching the internet for links to add to the 'Just for You' page, I went to a site that I have been to in the past. It offers up free mind tests, personality tests, job-type tests. I have found the results kind of interesting, so thought perhaps if I added the link people could take part in the tests for free and  find out a few things about themselves that may be helpful and encouraging. The tests are regular ones, often used by experts as well as in the business world. So I proceeded to a page that asked for my email, and as I have given it to them previously, I didn't think too much about it. The tests only take a few minutes of your time ............. but before I was even finished the test I had eight spammy emails in my inbox trying to sell me things. Well - that was just the beginning. Yesterday at one point I cleared 32 such emails from my inbox before I could even get to my regular notices. WHAT are they thinking? My plan had been to promote what they do on their site, as I think it is a good idea to tune in to what we think about things and how we respond to questions every now and then. Sometimes we carry on thinking or responding  without actually realizing what the impact is on our daily actions.

But obviously, this business has changed from what it used to be - and it puzzles me as to why. Can they really think that people appreciate being inundated with ads for things they have no interest in or desire to purchase? Do they not realize that it drives customers away rather than lure them in? For a business that deals with the psychology of human beings, it pretty much negates everything else they have to offer to the world. If they can be that far off base, as to believe that their customers want to receive 50 or more untargeted emails a day, why should I put any faith in anything else they think or say?

So what to do? These emails each come with the reply to the specific company that is advertising, so I have not found just one place to go to get them to take my name off the list. I can report them as spam, but again, it takes time to mark 50 emails, and what is the email provider going to do? They can't realistically put each and every one of these companies on the trash list, many of them are very legitimate businesses that have been around a long time. So I decided to find a different way around it. To let it be a source of amusement in my life. Yesterday I made up a story of my life that put them all together and here it is:

I was offered a $500 cash advance that I could use to train as a paralegal in just a few weeks. Not only that, I could get financial assistance for my student loan and save 60% on that through a debt management company. Then I could buy some articles from the government auction site that would allow me to live incognito, and join a dating group that would find my perfect match, at which point I figured that I could chuck the paralegal training and the debt management, and just live off my gorgeous, rich husband in some other country that I got a super discount deal to travel to, where I wouldn't have to go incognito!  But if that relationship didn't work out I could meet someone new through a group of older Christian people and ride off into the sunset on my brand new ATV. Just in case that special someone dumped me in the woods, I could buy a GPS system that would help me find my way back home. Then once there, I could voip a friend on my fancy new free laptop which I got just for fulfilling the companies requirements, and invite them over for pizza from one of the home delivery places that I got a super deal on through another company, and we could sit in my new house that was bought through a bankruptcy auction, and discuss the possible merits of her taking a course in the health care field, which it happens, she could get a degree from in ten months or less. Then perhaps she could afford to buy the special-rated group life insurance for her family, and take advantage of the mortgage assistance she might need on her home she didn't buy at a bankruptcy auction like me because she didn't put her email address into this brilliant website form and was not lucky enough to benefit from all these fantastic emails!

Aaaaaaahhhhh -- the joys of having a creative mind!

Needless to say, I will not be recommending their site to ANYONE! Too bad. The site itself does have a few things to offer.

Makes me want to move to a little cabin like in the photo and just stay there!

This one, out in the middle of 'nowhere' was originally a Post Office during the Rush. If you're having trouble finding it, it's the tiny squarish object in the middle of the photo!

Nice picturesque scene of cows and country.

I am back to drawing these days and it involves alot of thinking, wandering, contemplating and considering. Some days I don't spend anywhere near the same amount of time with my pencil in hand actually making marks with it as I spend thinking.

What brought it all about was a simple thing. I was sorting photos that had been stacked carefully in a wicker basket when there wasn't time to deal with them (you know how that goes) - when I came across some photos of cows. I was born on a dairy farm, so cows have an appeal to me, especially with their longer winter coats. Did you know cows can have rather curly hair? Not many people bother to get close enough to notice I think. But they can. And it always makes me want to rub my fingers in it.

Anyway - when I saw the photos of the cows I recalled taking them several years ago to use for sketching, and had never done too much with them, so decided perhaps the time was now. Cows do very little in a day. They munch, they wander, they let out a moo now and then. But from outward appearances they just sort of hang around in the field most of the time. But there is alot more than that going on. They have their own unique characteristics and 'personalities'. They can be rather cantankerous if they chose to be, and rather stubborn. Yet they can also be very affectionate. But unless you specifically work with them or watch them, you don't see them doing much.

This mama is dutifully shading her young one from the heat of the sun.

Feeding one calf while being nuzzled by the other.

This one wandered away from the herd to take advantage of her favourite scratching post to get rid of the itch on her chin.


They just spend the days being what they are. Just being.

That's what I am doing. Just spending my days being who I am.